I cant help but feel that i’m experiencing something like this - friend crisis.
I woke up to whatsapp’s vibrations(like any other morning since i get to snooze or dismiss my alarm clock) and it gets so incessantly annoying that i’m forced to read them.
Anw long story short, was pissed at my frens for telling me some impromptu birthday celebration to whom ide knw who’s bd it was? Rang D up, ready to rage and bombard questions. It turned out to be D’s bd and boy was i embarrassed.
"I mentioned it over the bbq!"
Dude the freaking bbq was 3 weeks ago and there were no follow up to it. A
At that point of time the others rang me up and scolded me. It was more of bantering and mockery that i am always the one who’s “ultra busy” and prioritizing others above them.
Gosh i hafta defend myself. My life is in shambles. It’s pointless. When it is meaningless, it doesn’t get busy cuz it cant. People are working and i laze ard.. But when it gets busy, the whole world rings me up on a single god damn day as if the world conspires against me. Then i get blamed for every shyt that seems to be my fault.
Anw, it was all good when i met up but i arrived late and had to leave earlier due to prior commitments.
And again i got *#$&^$*#@$&(# by them and i felt bad but i just cldnt stay any longer cuz i dun wna STAY AND drink. Truth is, i was more of the target than the bd boy becuz i gotta leave early for soccer and man.. this is what i learnt from today and everyone should concur
If you drink, don’t soccer.
I nearly died.. the shortness of breath was no joke. Had never hyperventilated more in my life.. And i reek of alcohol so bad i was asked to stay near a fren who was injured to use my intoxicating breathe that serves as a muscle relaxant what not numbing shyt . lol!
Anw.. it seems that i’m always looking for reasons to excuse myself. I do. Becuz the world conspires against me. Haha. I would always find myself trying to reason my way out of shyt when they were the ones that landed me in shyt.
Don’t explain yourself to anyone. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.
So i stopped. I’m not gna do it. Its in such a subtle way that none has even realized it. And i’m beginning to recluse myself from the world. Its a given that when you stop bothering, you will finally notice those who actually bothers about you. And i must say its not a pretty sight but i can lead my life in solitude.
Well, i do get made fun of by the few who knows about this but they fully agree to my opinion. I have quite a bit of stuffs that holds me back from everything and if its that difficult for you people to understand my predicament then its fine. I’m not imploring you to fully comprehend my situation, it aint no biggie at all. But knw that if sth bothers me and i beat ard the bush, have the decency to escort me right back to my comfort zone. If i’m emotionally intelligent enuff to do that for people, i wld want others to do the same for me . Emphasis on the word ‘want’, not need.
PEOPLE DUN GO ARD TELLING OTHERS THEIR PROBLEMS, DO THEY?
My fren bought these. Needless to say the elder wand was priced at a ridiculous price. lol. The chocolate frogs were the one got me excited.
"OMG THIS CAN ONLY BE SEEN IN THE MOVIES! WHERE THE EVERY FLAVOURED BEANS? I WNA TRY THE EAR WAX AND BLABLABLA "
And we became potterheads. Yup my memory never fails to fail me. Lol i have forgotten a huge deal of HP :S but its a shame they didnt buy the jelly beans..
Well, i just wna say that frens do drift apart if you’re not wary enough. I have let a few slipped out of my hand due to various reasons. Most of which are assumptions made and i have no intention of bringing them, even if things seemed fine as of now but the underlying problem is sth that remains unspoken.
I am pretty disappointed with them and they seem to have met ‘better frens’ and moved on. Well you could rebuke me by saying they might be in similar distress as of i and that i am being myopic for failing to see that. Truth is, why people dont bother about you, they just dun. Its evident that they dun text you, and texts aren’t replied. Even if you were overseas, isn’t it BASIC FUCKING COURTESY to say “oh i was away, sorry :D sup?”
It says alot. It really does. A pity i will never unveil the truth. Becuz no chance in hell am i gna be initiative to ask ‘em and even if they do approach me it wld be fully dependent on mood if i’m exceptionally benevolently that day.
Ha ha ha. I’m not petty, i hope. I’m pretty much done with stuffs like this. Gna just live life without worrying over trivial frens stuffs and like Madagascar 3’s Vitaly said
“If I go up in flames, then so be it!”
RAWRR like Vitaly :D Not like Alex cuz he has this hexagon mane . LOL