Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Why? whyyyy? WHyyyyyyyyyy. Why isit that every time i see her i get sooooooOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo emotional. I get goosebumps. I do stare in awe, mouth slightly open. And just sit there and watch.
And once its done, i go ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i make weird noises. eeeEEEE OOOOOhhHHHHhH hUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
rofl. I hate you yoonA. I really do. STOP STARING AT ME. You’re the one that cause this. I should tear down the poster.Stupid yoon. Or use liquid paper on your face.
Now i’m obsessed. Its here again. Sigh. Yoon. Whyyyyy. Even taeng can’t help me now. =((((((
IM YOONA, 你不可以这样美!! Everytime i die alittle inside. Soon. You will take all of me. Go ahead…
Actual Children’s Answers to The Question “What Is Love?”
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” - Chrissy, age 6
“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” - Terri, age 4
“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” - Danny, age 7
“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” - Emily, age 8
“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” - Bobby, age 7
“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” - Nikka, age 6
“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” - Noelle, age 7
“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” - Tommy, age 6
“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” - Cindy, age 8
“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” - Clare, age 6
“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” - Elaine, age 5
“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.” - Chris, age 7
“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” - Mary Ann, age 4
“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” - Lauren, age 4
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” - Rebecca, age 8
“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” - Karen, age 7
“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age 8 - (Omo SICA?Is that you? Yea right…)
Can’t stop smiling. =]]]] Makes my day.
And no jan i nt gna tell you my tumblr after stealing so many things from you. Lol it should be funny if you get to read this. Luv ur posts!!!!!!!!!
I clicked on the hyperlink as soon as i created the previous post. Nice. And i had to read it all over again. I hafen even pop that ‘limitless’ pill and my brain is skipping time already. What if, i had that pill since young. rofl. But why isn’t the intellectual level increasing but only the forgetting part is happening? hurhurSSS
1. Fark gpa, if its not meant to be, so be it. You know where you stand. You hate studying but you luv knowledge. This doesn’t have to be reflected through grades.
2. I know, you’re still worried about your gpa. Do what you deem fit.
3. Lets not view grades as everything. People around me are expecting too much from me. And i felt hurt when I don’t live up to their expectations. And i’m really depressed. Friends turn against me for being hypocrite. You really wna know what a hypocrite is like? I can show you. You’re not even near my league. _|_
4. BUZZ OFF. I still want my 1st class. YES. YOU IRONIC SON OF A GUN. HAHAHA
5. You know what? Try to catch up with everything.Its only a month away. Don’t forget you’re aiming for 5.0 this sem. So greedy. I hope you fail. Nah i’m kidding. I wish you all the best.
6. Eat less. You’re binging. You’re no longer in JC. Play sports/gym act like a fool and alalalalalala all day long. Those things keep you in shape. NOW? YOU SIT AND EAT. Stop it. Exercise every night, unless theres a test tml. You shall be excused. If you don’t, no coke for one week. (OMG THIS GNA HURT)
7. No more fried food. This is easily achievable. Crap i have one last pack of chips at home. Throw away. Ice cream is still allowed. ^^ Mmmm haagen dazs. BnJ sucks, for now.
8. Scrimp so you can go shopping. When was the last time you shopped?! LAST WEEK.HAHAHA. But i’m haven’t been spending alot on clothes recently. Sigh. I wanted to get that….. too much to name. Okay. Lets do it again. Sub food for clothes. And grow thin. Best deal eva?
9. Your only leisure would be. I shouldn’t. You can do what you want. You already gave up gaming. Thats already giving half your life away. Just make sure its worth while.
10. STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF. YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO WRITE THINGS DOWN SO YOU CAN REFER TO THEM WHEN YOU FORGOT. Wait, thats why i am writing all these down so i don’t forget. Whats your problem? rofl. Brainless prick. Self contradicting ironic bitch.
11. Damn its suppose to stop at point 9 since 9 = snsd. =/ Be assertive. Don’t do the things that you don’t want to. Since when did i ever do anything i don’t want to? Apart from studies that is. No more procrastination. Like seriously. For 21 years and ongoing? Its about time you stop before you reach 40 and you’re still talking to yourself, and maybe then facebook would be called ‘wrinkledbible’(LOL WTF?)and tumblr would be tumbler (Maybe they spelt it wrong like how google did?HEHE) Okay. I should stop. Before this goes on and on. This post is gna be hyperlinked. And put on desktop.(In the middle where sica is standing since shes centre,lol, on her waist)
NO COKE FOR YOU IF YOU DON’T FOLLOW any of the points.(1 point = 1 week.) This ends on 18th may. Last day of paper. ^^ NO EDITING IS ALLOWED.
HELLO! READ THIS WHENEVER YOU START TO WAVERING!(you’re suppose to see this everytime you click on the link) And i noticed you do prolly die reading this over and over when you’re feeling lazy. You know what to do. Do what you’re suppose to, then you won’t have to read this.
I needa find someone with the right intellect to explain this. This illuminati shyt. I’ve got the perfect person in mind but he’s overseas. Damn. The people are too ignorant to bother. Woo self praising myself. LOL.
Anyway, first it was jay-z, who claims he’s part of the illuminati. ya right. U? YOU?If you are one of them i am one of SNSD already bitch. You might have the wealth and asset, but you lack the brains bro. ^^ Kill me if you see this. Like how they speculated the death of MJ and Tupac’s death was related to illuminati. They were the supposed saviours that wanted to expose the illuminati. No comments. MJ and Tupac are kool ppl. =)
And now? Lady ra ra?………. Yea. whateva. Kill me. Kill the world. Drop a nuke in jap and make it worse. Illumanti - a super powerful (retarded) group capable of influencing everything and its goal is to kill us all, something along the line. Its too stupid to memorise what it is. YAY. If you see this, any illu guy. Nah i shouldn’t dare you guys like this. I’m scare. And yea i do probably be a waste of your time to even make the effort to find and kill me. Just let me rot and die. weee. ciao illu frens!!
“She,who is attached,eventually feels she has missed out a lot.
He, who is single, feels he’s missing out all along.”—Me. in view of huhu’s current situation. omfg its 640 AM now and i am still awake. Wtfbbq. =D
This is easily the best stuff i have read about him. I didn’t knew he could express himself so well. A pantheist? Deistic? You got me wondering what i am already. I am no atheist. I am no patheist. And most imptly i am not christian.
"The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does not know how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn’t know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God. We see the universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws but only dimly understand these laws."
Brudda, i like how you answered the question,” Do you believe in god?” . You answered and you didn’t. I am willing to trade my life for your wisdom. haha. Its for the good of mankind. A man your calibre will never appear again. I just know it. I hold you in really high esteem as well. And i’m prolly gna read up on this when i got the time.
Cause i’m 3 days away from a stupid math test and i’ve never attended any math lect. You know what Einstein? I do claim myself a genius if 3 days’ enough to score well. i wouldn’t even need a 4 year to get an honours and needless to say any lecturer. LOL. SELF studying(without prof) and scoring better? rofl. This is ‘genius’ in the contemporary world. Sad huh. If you’re ard you do be disgusted. Disgusted at how the education have become.
Damn if i really can, i hope i can dream of having a conversation with you. With snsd around the same table as us. I do intro you to them. rofl!!! OKAY FML. Needa do work. =[ dangGGG
I saw Nelly’s album title and i felt satisfied. It was 5.0. Its a number uni students would luv.
i was thinking about her Thinking bout me Thinkin bout us (us) What we gunna be? Open my eyes, (Yeah) it was only just a dream…
Now i know why i liked that song so very much. As long as you can relate. It sounds more special. Though this was written to his~omg. great find.
Qn: Did Nelly’s wife die?
Ans:The rapper by the name of Nelly has a new song called Just a Dream and it is for his grandmother who died and not his wife. To answer your question no his wife did not die she is still living!
I alwaes thought it was the wife. But its not. I was gna say even though its about the love of his wife, as long as its luv, anyone can relate to it. Even me.^^
But it was the grandma. =( No the sad face isn’t sad cause it wasn’t his wife. -.- Its just sad. Cause Sam Tsui N christina sang till its like a BGR song. Get me? Anw. I’ve lost my grandma recently. Not that recently actually. But. I’m choked.
"Hey, she was so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn’t enough."
That struck me- HARD. Its no use saying what i’ve regret and stuffs like that. People just needa learn things the hard way. And i’m sorry. It was dramatic. But guess what, i’ve said ppl move on.And i didn’t. The last time i thought of her? Was a month ago. As long as you forget, you moved on. Its okay.I’m sure she wants that too. I just hate.
Wai po, I had never done enough for you.i’m sorry. I blame that i was born selfish. I was, and i still am. I can’t change it. While you were bed-ridden, i was in Ns.I do rather go out with friends than see you. I was a bastard. I am born this way. Mum was telling me how worried and scare you were that you didn’t wanted to go for the op at all. i wasn’t even there. I could still recall i was so shocked to see you after your op, after a month of chemotherapy. You looked so weak. So thin. Your face shape changed. You looked like someone else. When i saw you, i walked away. I went away to wept. I was sad. It was from the heart. I felt pain there. And i hated myself ever since. My other cousins were there(most of dem) most of the time. They saw how your health deteriorated thru the op. You were 80. I duno ur exact age. But you were so healthy looking. Before your cervical cancer. And i do see you when all of us meet. I luv u. I knew u knew. I dun show it. But i luv u so much more than other woman. haha. And even now, i could only remember how good you looked. The drastic change made me selectively forget. I forgot how you looked like after the chemo. REALLY. THANK YOU BRAIN. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I WNA THANK YOU. I wanted to keep the best image of you. and its still there. i was just sorry to see you that way. And until the day that came. I could never forget about it. It was so dramatic. I had problems holding it back in frnt of my mum. I gotta write this down should i 4get. i would kill myself if i do.
I was getting ready for work that day and i didn’t wanted to go work early. I decided to go there late. It was after ord alr. i knew. i was working. Then mum came over and asked me if i could use 3G to video call my cousin. Back then i didn’t had windows fone. It was my red old fone. It could do video call. I was like “What for?i needa go out.” Mum broke down and said today might just be her last day. It didn’t occur to me yet. I did what i was told. I called AH JIE KORKOR =) He picked up. and i saw wai po on her bed. She looked so awful i turned awae immediately. Mum was already crying alr. The thing about me is. I’ve never ever tell mum things, nor share stuffs. i alwaes keep stuffs to myself. They have nv seen me silently weep in my room. That moment was the longest moment in my life. I was scare. I was panicking. I could hear my few aunts in the room. They were there. The reason we couldn’t be go to her house was, she stays with my uncle’s family. They just had a newborn and my paternal grandma died 2 weeks ago(i’m sry i dun feel close to her). So they have this belief that we shouldn’t go their house cause of i duno what superstitious fuck thats denies us from seeing her for the last time.Its an excuse for me, not for my mum. That one month before she died. We didn’t even visit her. Keep in mind i just ORDed. I had the time to. Bastard. U must be paying off ur debt now. Ur living in hell now. Good. i am happy u get tortured. Keep it up. Where was i? Yea.
Wai po was so tired she couldn’t barely open her eyes. I remembered the length of the call. It was a 40 min call. You could see how relieved wai po was when she saw mum thru the video call. There were only brown movements. she was too weak to even smile nor talk. It was the worse thing ever. She was a healthy old lady who could still cook for a family of 20 or more during cny n going out with her frens months ago. That was the her that lived in me. And its been like this ever since. The 40 min call, i made sure she saw me as soon as we called. And i only looked at for 10 mins. I couldn’t. I just held on to the fone for mum. And really, she died while we were video conferencing. For once, i thought technology was cool. I remembered how they shouted when she left. But she felt at ease for shes seen everyone. The one she missed the most was my mum. haha. And i know who she dotes on the most amongst the cousins. Lets keep it a secret. And even if u forget, no harm done.
I felt sorry. I had never wanted to apologise as bad as that. She was no longer there. I didn’t went to work that day. I locked myself up. I talked to snsd alot that day. I started seeing things. And that night i dreamt of her.It was epic. She was there in the dream. She kept quiet. She didn’t say anything. She told me telepathically she was leaving. I was like no fucking way. I will miss your maggie mee. No one cooks as great as she does. She sat there quiet while the background was my cousins and relatives partying. She left. And i woke up. The pillow was already wet. Ya i’ve alwaes cried in my sleep. Its nth new. Haha. i couldn’t sleep. i reminisce everything about the past. They were vague. But a few moments were really vivid. I can visualise things really well.Its just that i forget. I shan’t say them. Lol those are really embarrassing. They shall die with me. =)
At the funeral, everyone was OKAY. We joked. We even set up a wifi lan area at the wake to use our laptops to play. We are a happy bunch. NOT COLD BLOODED.THE other one there thats actually cold blooded would be me. My younger cousin scolded me for not visiting her more frequently when she was suffering. Its not like everyone did. But i did the least. No, they expect too much from me. EVERY ONE FUCKING DOES THAT. EVEN TODAY. THE PEOPLE AROUND STILL SEES ME AS SOMETHING I AM NOT. FUCK IT ALREADY. ITS ALL A FACADE. I AM NOWHERE NEAR GOOD. I HAVE COMPLEX ISSUES. I FEEL HORRIBLE. I AM NOT A SINGLE BIT CONFIDENT. YES I AM BUT ITS JUST A DEFENSE MECHANISM. Nvm. i felt bad enough. i didn’t argue. i used the bullshyt superstitious reason of paternal grandma dying so can’t visit to hide. One more thing, they didn’t knew. That people actually misses the ones that they dun see them frequently THE MOST. You get it? Its becoz i was never there. She thinks about me. Its like how shes gone. I think about her. When shes around.Fuck yeah it was snsd. HAppy? Its the truth. I’ve never seen snsd b4. What do u expect from a boi with raging hormones.
Well everything was calm. At least thats what i thought. My cousins are a kool bunch. All are really good looking. Yea maybe cept me huh. I dun really care. i luv them. thats wad matters. We thought every1 was really kool n calm. UNTIL we went to the… whats that call. crematorium.Yes that one. When her coffin was about to push into the ‘electric’ thingy, they dun burn anymore. Its called technology. THAT MOMENT WAS FELT LIKE U GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING. The ” Shes is really leaving the WORLD now when the body incinerates” sank in. It hit rock bottom. And it echoed from below and down within. You suddenly hear violent screams. and shouts of despair n helplessness. It was scary. And i thought i was the kool kind. Since i could hide my stuffs so well. RUFF OUT ROUD? I broke down and scratched the floor. Everyone was too busy gg hysterical. I didn’t cared about my image alr. Mucus dripped frm the nose. I was gritting my teeth so bad to stop myself from screaming. My ‘kool’ cousins cried. Even the ones thats suppose to be more kool. haha. At that moment. I felt, we all feel the same.We’re gg thru the same pain. U duno how relieved i felt. Now i knw. Its not luv that i am deprived of. Its losing the one you luv that can make u so miserable. You feel so drained. And zi rong had to put his arm over me. LOL. Hes like sec 1? Hes one of the youngest. lol we share the same birthday. Hes kool and said ******* kor kor( i dun wan ppl to knw what they call me . haha) dun cry alr. its okae de. That made me felt worse. I hide behind my white tee. The tee-shirt was already soaked. lol.Its digusting. i know. Even hes comforting me. I told him. Go console ur parents. They need it.
We left, and we rushed to the toilet. This was the 1st time, i felt. People aren’t embarrassed about crying publicly. I mean your relatives u knw them well. But u haf nv seen them cry b4. And its at that moment none of us felt awkward to show it. Wai po brought us tgt even mre. Now i knw that should anyone of us die, they would care as much. Thats y i wont die alr. I’ve grown out of it. I dun wna be selfish. I am living for myself. But subliminally,unconsciously, i am living for them. Lol Something lur. Wow it supposed to start off writing about how nice the song was. But i have to get overwhelmed n scribbled so much. As usual lur huh.
Well, i might be seeing them later. haha.i miss dem. since i only see dem once a year. DURING CNY THAT IS. lol. and i do alwaes tease them saeing ya see u guys nxt year during cny. I do so to tell them how much i miss them.=).
Punggol. -.- So ulu. The duno wad club by the sea. No transport how they drink. Yea drink driving again! Cfm. lets die tgt. weEE =X I miss dem. hurhurs. And waipo, now that i remember. every time when the going gets tough, i will miss u more. To find strength in u. I promise.
Eeyer, so mushy. LOL. Mushy also only u read. U let any one of dem see this they do die luffing at u. Especially that TAN RENYI!! LOL!
AND AND. this was suppose to be me writing bout her. The her. LOL. and it became like this. Life’s full of uncertainty huh…
i do never stay over at other ppl’s house ever again. It feels worse than clubbing. I get serious migraine. And that Magum pills, though not as strong as the ginseng pills i took, OMG i only got 2 hours of sleep(cause it was so uncomfortable) and now i am up with headache.
Aye…Eugene…You alwaes seem to forget the reasons why the old you would say no to. And you do do it again, experience the pain all over again, know that it hurts, and tell yourselves never to again, but in time to come, you would forget, and here we go again.
This is like food, like how sick you feel after KFC, like how your body rejects mcdonald meals, the urge to eat but feels really horrible after eating it.
This is like love, like how much you yearn it, and you know you shouldn’t, and once you get it, you know you get bored of it (well sometimes its other issues), and you hurt yourselves n some1elses all over again.
At this rate, i suspect you have alzheimer’s along with parkinson’s .Though its on and off, it gets so serious at times. And just now when i was sleeping, i dreamt of something. And when i woke up, i had to go facebook to cfm that it wasn’t a dream and that it was real. Slowly,but surely, the line between reality n dream is getting blurred. YES I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED THAT. ITS THE ONLY WAY TO YOONA. It happened once before. I was exhilarated. And i scolded mum when she woke me up. Shes lyk “wts man?whats wrng with u”(those are not her actual words)HAHA
Yea, but right now, the most impt part. I needa finish work and study for test for it keeps getting PUSHED BACK because of unforeseen circumstances. There are weekends that are so boring and lonely i do tear… and there are weekends that makes me feel like a rockstar. Its the xtremes. Theres no balance in my life. Either people forget me during these weekends, or all of dem, would SUDDENLY remember me and get me out at the same time. Kool huh. I really needs friends. They’re depleting.
My head hurts in place of my heart. At any point of time,at least one part of me MUST experience pain. i just know it.
could you please grow longer instead of THICKER. At this rate you do end up like this.
Yes the one on the left. Mushroom hair. You have no idea how much i luv that mushroom hair fany. I called her the OLD debut days fany =( I missed her. And hair, every time i wake up you look like an exploded mushroom.
Besides, you can’t pull off that look. You’re not as silky and soft as fany’s mushroom.
So please, just grow longer hair. I’m gna perm you soon. WATCH OUT =]
when you see the young primary sch kids. Some of the boiz/galZ just look so fine you know they do grow up in2 a hunk/beauty. ( Not being paedophilic here..)
I saw a young hara goo today. lol! She has the longest eye lashes! Her eyes were really bright and i knew shes gna be lyk a hara goo when she grows up. GOOD FOR HER!
And there were two other pri sch kids, actually there were many of dem. They were having lessons at the pool. Anyway so the two other girls, they looked very much like sisters. Judging from their SIZE, and other appearance. Then one of dem suddenly shouted ,” BABO YA?” LOL. No doubt they are primary sch kids, and are from PCPS(woo that used to be a fine sch until…) . I was really shocked. Even pri sch girls are into kpop? Now? Who do they actually go gugu gaga over? DEFINITELY NOT SNSD. =[
I bet its either 2pm,(cfm not 2am), Suju, big bang(just doesnt seem to appeal to kids) and…beast maybe? Ah i duno. This hallyu wave is really daebak. Its like a tsunami. lol. It affects all ages. Aunties luv kdramas. Teens luv idol/drama and spend they time on it. And now kids? Must be hyung joong. Cause they do watch bois over flowers and minho wouldn’t appeal to them. I luv minho more than hyung joong. bleah. rofl.
And i felt proud of myself. HEH. hmm cause i’m in DA SCENE! Gotta admit the flames did died down abit and i’m nt as obsessed. But i do still wna fly to korea again and again(2pm song)!
And when i hear seconday sch bois saeing ” wah snsd tiffany sibei chio”. I really wna fark dem. OBVIOUSLY YOONA IS THE PRETTIEST RIGHT? AND DUN GO ARD DEGRADING MY GERS BY SAEING WHAT SIBEI CHIO. _|_ rofl fanboi. Tiffany used to be soo pretty, and i prefer her during the debut days. But now…
Hmm some day i should write about snsd. Everything about them. This post just feels so weird. It makes me sound like a paedophilic kpop fanatic pervert.Maybe i am! =]